Chuck Norris Facts

Am vazut ca de vreun an sau chiar mai mult a aparut un nou fenomen pe internet: glumele legate de Chuck Norris. Probabil deja stiti macar cateva dintre ele pentru ca, din cate am vazut, au aparut pe o groaza de bloguri si, mai mult, cioneva a realizat chiar si un site care inca se actualizeaza. Nu sunt toate chiar grozave, dar am gasit cateva care mi-au placut in mod deosebit. Enjoy

  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.Chuck Norris goes killing.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
  • Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
  • Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
  • There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  • When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  • Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold
  • If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
  • The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
  • Chuck Norris is on the 3 dollar bill.
  • Athletes are great. Chuck Norris is great. Therefore all athletes are Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of
    Chuck Norris
  • One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
  • Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
  • God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6. 

4 Comments »

  1. Marius said

    Foarte foarte tari astea. Le-a descoperit un coleg de-al meu de serviciu undeva prin vara anului trecut si, la momentul respectiv, am pierdut vreo doua-trei zile (la serviciu, adica) razand pe diferite faze. And the memory remains…

  2. Oana said

    :)) Se poate zice ca tatal meu e fan Chuck Norris, iar eu nu ratez vreo ocazie sa fac misto de el…mersi mult de material…o sa-l folosesc cu incredere!

  3. snoopycamy said

    Ca sa devina un fenomen, Chuck a trebuit sa suporte catralioane de roluri in filme proaste.. Strategia din spatele carierei sale, transcede lumea filmului.

  4. kmeleon said

    :)) excelent!!!! excelent!!!!! excelent!!!
    am primit unul asemanator…..acum imi dau seama cum a fost creat…
    cititi, poate va place, mie mi-a placut!

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    Daca tu ai 1 leu si Gigi Becali are 1 leu, atunci Gigi Becali are mai multi bani ca tine.
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